Just Carry On
by lisa.demonic.angel
Summary: based on the song by emienem, i was listening to it and watching supernatural same time, and then my mind wouldn't let go until i had it down on paper. castiel/dean slash.


Just carry on

**Disclaimer****: supernatural does not belong to me – foo-wi! :'( – it belongs to that dude who wrote it.**

**Also, I do not own the song that inspired this story, ****Carry on**** by Emienem. **

**Warnings: sad and kinda cute… wait is that even a proper warning?**

Dean knew he cared, knew he would give an arm for Cas, but not the expression… no after what Cas went through for him, he meant literally. Somehow Cas had to know that he gave Dean heart, and Dean knew that he was like a suite of armor; whenever Cas felt left out or lost in this human world, and Dean always tried his best to help Cas out. Dean knew he would do his best to destroy anyone who tried to harm his angel, even if it meant he'd get kicked in the ass and everything he stood for got thrown back in his face.

He cared, because Cas is his friend… right?

All these thoughts ran through Dean's mind as he lay on his bed listening to the crappy motel radio, drifting off as he ignored the sounds of Sam teaching Cas how to use a phone.

*'*'*

Cas stood before Dean, his face hopeful and excited, he had learnt to do something new, a simple human thing that, none the less, excited him. But Dean was too busy to notice it. He told Cas that he should go have fun, that he was too busy, not really caring. He did see the misting of tears in Cas's eyes, and felt bad as his friend disappeared.

He felt bad, and started working harder; on what ever it was he was working on, saying to himself that he was doing it for his Cas…

The hunter in him reared its head, in the shape of a fierce tiger that roared and snarled at the soft feelings that were surging through him.

Dean ignored the animal, sending it off with a pat on the head and a whispered lullaby.

Suddenly, Dean was high over the earth, watching over the world. He saw Cas, and smiled. But stopped when he saw himself… he saw himself walking down on the earth, walking towards Castiel. They spoke shortly, and, abruptly, he started walking away again. Cas started crying, and had started screaming at earth/Deans back, trying to stop him from leaving. Only to cry and laugh bitterly as that Dean turned, swearing that that would be the last time.

Cas told him straight that he was lying, and out of desperation he piled things against the motel room, trying to block it. Saying that Dean was his, that he was sick of women getting to have him while he just stood back and watched. Screaming "no!"Dean stop it please don't go" sobbing brokenly.

His hand reached into his coat, and he pulled out a locket, with a tiny cross engraved. Telling Dean that he should keep it with him, that it would keep him safe.

Dean looked up. He was completely alone, only a mirror that reflected him to keep him company. The walls were whispering, Cas's voice, telling him that he had but one more chance, one more shot to show Cas how he truly felt. One chance to do right… and that chance was tonight.

Dean knew he had to go and speak to Cas, but just as he leaves the room, he finds himself in the center of a riot. A light is shining on him, making it near impossible to focus on the screaming crowd of horrors around him. Looking around, he see's Castiel step into the light, trench coat missing, deep long gashes running up his arms, crying again. This time he directs his words directly to Dean.

"You lied to me Dean, and now look at me, I gave you everything, and this is how you repay me? By indulging in the lust of worthless women. Drown the screaming pain of your life out with sex and drinking, worthless self pity. I get the point. Fine, I'm going"

"Wait!" desperate, Dean lunges forward.

"No Dean, it's too late, you made your choice, now go and show them that you love them more that you'll ever love me.

It's no wonder you can't sleep without a woman, just look around you" Cas finishes, throwing bleeding arms out to indicate around them.

Then, before Dean can say another word, Castiel takes his angels' sword and drives it though his heart.

Dean screams as the pure white light all but blinds him.

As he slips into darkness, images and sounds crash into his mind.

The sound of gun fire,

A swirling whine of a falling airplane before the resounding explosion as it crashes,

Pained, fearful, agonized screaming…

Dean jerks awake, and seeing his brothers' bed empty, thinks himself alone. He then saw Castiel, sitting on the floor and happily playing on his phone.

Gasping, Dean fell out of the bed and rushed towards he angel, and not saying a word, gathered the now startled man into his arms.

"Cas!" Dean yelled, tightening his hold on the bemused angel. "I'm so sorry, please don't hurt yourself, please don't leave me, please, please, please don't DIE!

Castiel stares, wide eyed "Dean I'm fine, real-" but the angel was silence by Dean's lips, gasping slightly as Dean slid his tongue against his own.

"I love you Cas, I promise, please don't leave me…" deans voice hitched as he rested his forehead against Cas's.

"It's ok; I won't ever let you go." Castiel whispered, sliding his arms hesitantly around Dean's neck.

As Dean held his beloved angel against him, he heard a song on the radio finish up.

_And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't morn, rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice, just know that, I'm looking down on you smiling, and I didn't feel a thing, so baby don't feel my pain, just smile back…_

Dean realized the song had given him his dream and smiled as he silently tanked Emienem as he and Cas slowly sank onto the bed…

THE END

**Okay this is the second time I'm posting anything and I still feel lost. My other stories are falling behind coz my dad needs to fix my computer for me, so sorry for the falling behindness of things for 'half blood' **

**Reviews are loved and treasured. **

**Love you's**


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